With the holidays in full swing, it feels like the pace of life has increased ten-fold. The last 3 weeks in December are packed full not only with Christmas parties and shopping excursions, but also last minute work deadlines, school commitments, and college finals. A doctor’s clinic is an especially busy place the last few weeks of the year, and I’m sure I’m not the only one at my office feeling a little less than Zen.
With this in mind, I wanted to talk a little bit about my involvement in the Physician Leadership Academy. The Academy is a course is designed to help physicians become better leaders by focusing on self-awareness, mindfulness and the development of emotional intelligence. A few months back, I attended a retreat centered around the power of being present and listening and speaking with intention. Over the course of the weekend, I learned what it meant to actually listen during a conversation. I was introduced to meditation and the power of this practice on my relationships with others and with myself. I want to share with you some of what has stuck with me since that illuminating weekend.
Be present.
You aren’t able to be there for others and to actually listen if you aren’t fully present yourself. Multitasking and busy-ness are badges of honor in today’s society. We groan to our friends about our days spent rushing from one meeting to another, skipping lunch, and getting home later than intended. We tend to feel that unless we are going 150 miles per hour, writing emails while on conference calls, eating lunch while finishing charts, or skipping on sleep to finish a PowerPoint deck, we just aren’t working hard enough.
We need to give ourselves permission to slow down. Even if it is just for 5 minutes a day, taking the time to be present in yourself, to “come home to yourself” as one of our incredible retreat leaders said. This can be as simple as taking 3 deep breaths in your office between calls. This can be 5 minutes of meditation, or 20. Whatever it takes to reel you back in, back to your center.
Listen intentionally. Speak intentionally.
We often go through our days interacting with those around us superficially. A quick “Hi, how are you?” and then we are off to the next task. Often even when someone is telling a story, we might be glancing intermittently at our twitter feed or computer screen. Instead, make a point to put aside distractions and actually focus. Take it one step further and, in the words of author Art Petty, “shift from the movie about ourselves running in our own minds to focusing on the movie or picture being created by another.” Both listening and speaking intentionally are difficult, but the impact on relationships is astounding.
I’m back to the usual chaotic work-week routine now, the holiday stress is real, and some of the magic of the retreat has admittedly faded. However, I have noticed a small change in myself. I have been working on finding time to meditate*, even if it is just 4-5 minutes a few days a week. When I feel overwhelmed or frustrated, I’m trying to take a few deep breaths, to bring myself back to my center. It’s hard and it doesn’t always work. I’m making an effort to listen intentionally- to my co-workers, patients and friends. This, too, hasn’t been perfect, and I’m as guilty as the next person for falling victim to distraction. But I hope if I just keep at it, it will get easier.
The journey is in the practice.
*more on meditation in a future post!
